Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Suger, you are a jackass and I hate your crystal-ee guts

For Christmas I made 3 pies with Agave - 2 pumpkin and 1 apple. And holysweethotyes batman, they were good. The thing (for me) about agave is it doesn't trigger my sugar response which is a little like this.
that was good. i need more. can I have more? where is more. not here? I'll go to where there is more. if you are between me and more you might want to move. more dammit!
Frankly that's pretty tame but you get the idea.

So someone (I won't name any names, my husband) wanted ice cream with the apple pie so that was fine, we got it. And I didn't have any ice cream on christmas, I was a true saint.

But then.

The other night.

He pulled out Mr Ice Cream to have with our agave/maple sweetened banana bread which is frakin' good and if any of you folks want to give up the crack for a hundy days I'll totally bake you some. Seriously.

Here (finally) is the confession. He said, "Honey, do you want some ice cream with your banana bread?" and I said.

What? Ms fu sugar, what happened? It was a moment of weakness. It seemed like a good idea.

And then. I ate more.


So watch your ass friends, that ice cream or scone or New Years fruitcake will sneak up on you and bite your butt. I woke up the next day with a sugar hangover, I was a grumpy discontented person. I am now on day 2 no sugar again.


Friday, December 18, 2009

Apple Pie, let's make out

Ok kids. I haven't baked that Pumpkin Pie below yet, that is forthcoming.

However I did bake an apple pie with agave. Hot Damn was it good.

I got all fancy and created this basket weaving 101 thing - not knowing what the hell I was doing but faking it hard.

Kinda worked.

Do you want the recipe? Ping me and I"ll hook you up. This will be happening again next week for Christmas along with the Pumpkin Pie. God bless you Agave.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

holiday parties, here's the plan

Salted nuts. I'm telling you, that's the only way out of this mess.
Sure you'll have to drink alot of water, but you'll stay out of the pumpkindamnpie.

A friend asked us to bring a pumpin pie to a party. (say that five times fast) And since I want to be an overachievin' freaky character I thought I'd make one with Agave. End of day it's just so I can eat it, I'm not that impressive afterall.

Found this recipe (pasted below) - I'll report back on how it goes. NOT low in dairy, but as you know, not afraid of dairy.

Okay! Comon' Christmas parties, I'm ready for you. Do your worst!

(recipe credit:

Naturally Sweetened without Sugar Pumpkin Pie
(and whip cream)

2 cups pumpkin puree*
(or 15 oz. of canned organic pumpkin)
1 9-inch pastry crust
¾ tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp melted butter
3 eggs
¾ cup agave nectar
1/3 cup whole milk
2/3 cup heavy whipping cream

Real Whipped Cream Topping
1 pint heavy whipping cream
¼ cup agave nectar
1 tsp real vanilla

1. In a large bowl, blend together two cups pumpkin, spice and salt. Beat in melted butter, eggs, agave nectar, milk and cream. Pour filling into pie shell.
2. Bake at 400 degrees for 50 to 55 minutes, or until a knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Refrigerate until serving.
3. To make whipping cream, pour one pint of whipping cream into chilled mixing bowl and add agave nectar and vanilla. Beat with chilled beaters until stiff peaks form. Refrigerate until serving.

* Pumpkin puree: preheat your oven to 450 F. Then, cut the top of the pumpkin off and remove the seeds and membranes. Cut pumpkin in half and place it face down in a baking dish. Add about a half an inch of water to the pan to keep pumpkin moist. Bake about 45 minutes until fork tender. Scrape the soft pulp from the skin into a food processor or blender. Pulse until pureed.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

oh pumpkin pie, you're such a beyatch

OK, I'm confessing here. I did get 'involved' with the pumpkin pie. It was all brown and spongee and wait a minute, what about it was tempting? Harumph. I went there. Until it was gone. Until the glass pan fell on the ground and we said '45 second rule!' and ate it like dogs off the ground.


But that's the power of the crack. By crack I mean Sugar. Powerful stuff.

Withdrawing again now. Once again I have pizza on my side, thank god. But in other news I did make a deelllicious Agave-sweetened Apple Pie. If you want, I'll give the recipe. It was even gluten free. What? Oh yes it was! But what the heck was the point when I got all cozy with the pump and the stuffin', I ask you?

How are the holiday's going for you? Stay strong friends!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

thanksgiving, I'm not afraid of you!

Ok, maybe just a little.

But here's what I've noticed. So you eat that pumpkin pie. And let's get honest, you didn't need it. You were already SO damn full from the ginourmous plate o' stuff. But you feel, I dunno, entitled. Obliged.

But! If you say.

Efff You Sugar! I am bloated enough without you thanks!

Then the next day, you won't have the hangover. And the next day, you won't be so tempted by those dusty candycorns in the dish at that attorney's office. And the next day, you won't put just the tiniest bit of sugar in your tea because you had some yesterday. And then the days after that you won't slide down the slippery slope into the sugar hellride into the december holidayze and look up on New Years Day and go, oh shitdamn, what happened? I feel like crap and am wearing an extra five pounds all because of that DAMN PUMPKIN PIE. Don't do it friend, you can resist.

So All together now.

Eff you sugar! 

And I'm going to make an apple pie sweetened minimally with Agave. If it doesn't suck, I'll post the recipe here.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Reason #5 not to eat effin sugar

Your best chance at avoiding the pig flu.


Here is a nice article that summarizes why. But basically in my I-don't-actually-know-what-the-eff-I'm-talking-about-but-I-can-google-like-nobody's-business way, your immune system gets depressed for a chunk of time after you eat some of the crack and you invite the ick floating around in your system to land and take hold.

So yea, like that. So. Along with the usual immune system good news things like sleep, water, and you know, vegetables. This is another swell way to keep the evil bugs at bay.

If you wish you had delicious sweet this fall, eat an apple. Seriously yum.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

The TRICK is to not eat the TREAT

How'd it go?

I'm having a proud lil moment. I did not succomb. It's 10 o' clock on all Hallow's Eve and I have not eaten the evil sugarstuff once. Did I give the poor defenseless children this highly addictive drug? I'm afraid so.

I thought about doing the ol' apple chips thing or the granola bar or god forbid the lecture on my porch. I did not. Partially because it would be mighty costly and partially because I don't want my house to get egged.

But honestly?

I wanted to be the cool chic on the block who gave out the good stuff. (chocolate) So while I"m up here evangelizing away I'm a big ol sucker workin' for the man peddling the crack to the little people who will likely make themselves shake by eating too much of the stuff out of the plastic pumpkin. Or that's what I did anyway.

Next year I'll think of something. I have to. Since it will be my first time hitting the sidewalks with my little one, I"ll have to figure out how to wrestle this crap out of his little hands. How weird, a holiday where we invite our children to beg sugar from other people by dressing up to the point of being unrecognizable. It's dastardly. And awesome. Sigh.


So I'm one week in of getting off the crack (sugar! I mean sugar!) and I'm feeling preettty darn good. How are y'all doing?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

God Bless Cheese

I'm sure lots of people would refute this statement. Apparently Courtney Love has a lot to say on the topic. And it's pretty compelling, especially becuase she yells. But.

First I'm quitting the crack, and then we'll see about letting go of the miracle called grilled cheese.

So for now, Bring on the cheese, bring on the funk. (and since cheese is generally moldy, I guess I'm repeating myself there).

Here's some other things I go to when I'm jonsin' for some sugar-love:

* Ezekiel cereal (pretty much the ONLY cereal around sans Sug)

* Ezekial bread (with cheese)

* Did I mention cheese?

* Pickles

* Mint tea - weird but true, this knocks out sugar cravings. Especially if you're into agave and want to add a little smidgen

*Pretzels dipped in Almond Butter.

Oh I could go on about almond butter. I would say peanut butter 'cept it often has effin' sugar. Check the label. And almond butter can be your friend, even though it's expensive. Make out with it, seriously.

2 days to the day of sugar worshipping and the wearing of costumes so that you can eat alot of it. Are you scared? I am.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Sugar is the New Heroin

Says the lab rats.

I get it. I'm going through withdrawal. Three times today I walked into and back out of the kitchen. I drank some water. I drank some tea. I drank some Kombucha.

Oh and I ate some trail mix that had cranberries with sugar DAMMIT! So tomorrow I'm setting the timer back to day 1. But, I am feeling a wholelottamobetta.

Sunday without a scone. Woooo-hooo!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Hey Jane, why do you hate sugar so much?

Well, because it's evil.

It makes my body hurt.
It makes me wear lotsa extra weight.
It makes me grumpy. (Okay mean).

It's getting people really really sick.
You know what LOVES sugar? Cancer. Yep, if you want to get that tumor growing, eat lots of sugar.
Diabetes. 'nuff said.

It's been a long time crusade of mine to quit the 'crack' as I affectionately call it. Sugar in fact is one molecule off from heroin. No kidding. (Ummmkay just googled this and I guess it's not accurate, but let's go with it anyway, okay?) Clearly I don't claim to be any kind of expert, but I have battled my own sugar addiction for 10 years now and I'm just sick of being sick.

So let's do this thing together. Let's quit the evil drug that's making us fat and angry and grumpy and turn into the label reading hot chics (and dudes) that we were meant to be. Ok label reading sucks but it's an important part of the journey.

So what's the journey? My challenge to you is to quit white sugar for 100 days. I'm not all up in your honey grill, honey it up. I'm also (personally) down with the Agave. The molasses thing? Ugh, hard to know. I'm quitting that one too. I'm letting go of the things that 'cause a sugar reaction - as it OMFG I have to eat more and more and more. But you can define your own terms, I think kicking the white stuff is hard enough.

Google and wiki and this place say names for white sugar include:

oh and the corn syrup's

High fructose corn syrup is evil, evil, evil and must be destroyed. And you know what? It doesn't taste good either. Have you ever had 'Mexican Coke'? They manufacture it with white sugar and it tastes so much better. Not that I ever drink it. Ahem.

So, whaddya think? Sign in here and tell me what your start and end date is. If you pull it off, cute hubs and I will bake you a whole wheat agave sweetened banana bread loaf and ship it to you whereever you are. (US Only, except Joyce). And a t-shirt! I don't know what it looks like yet, thankfully I have 100 days to come up with it.

Come back here for inspiration, a shoulder to cry on, a place for hints and tips on how to kick the 'crack' habit. This ain't easy but the least we can do is band together for strength. (sniff! that's so beautiful!)